Words

Jan. 28th, 2009

I Feel...

location: bedroom

mood: good

Really good.

^_^

Jan. 15th, 2009

Yesterday was a hard day. We had to put our 11-year-old dog Barney to sleep. He was sick and getting sicker. We couldn't do anything to help him, as we didn't have the means.

So the vet came at about 10:55 am. He injected Barney with a solution that caused him to fall into a heavy sleep. It's what they use for performing minor surgical procedures on cats and dogs. In about 7 minutes Barney was out, sleeping deeply.

The vet filled another syringe with Euthasol, the drug used to actually stop his heart. He injected Barney through the front, left leg, directly into the vein. Ten seconds after that, I heard him take his last breath. At 11:10 am, Barney was gone.

My brother and I dug a hole in the yard. We rounded up all of Barney's toys, dog treats, his leash and bowls. We wrapped Barney in a sheet, carried him out to the hole, lowered him down into it and put all of his things next to him. We covered him over with the dirt we'd shoveled out and hammered a plank of wood into the ground to mark his grave.

It's hard to bury a companion of 11 years. It's hard to bury a good friend.

Goodbye, Barney, my good friend.
November 12, 1997 - January 14, 2009

Tags: barney, gone, goodbye

Jan. 11th, 2009

0_o

location: bedroom

I hate it when you feel like blogging, and then just as you start to type you have no idea what to say. Oy.

Jan. 4th, 2009

Surrender

location: bedroom

mood: contemplative

My father is a man in possession of immense wisdom. His experiences in this life have given him many rich insights. It's really incredible, to have such a man as my dad. I can't accurately convey just how blessed I really am. I'm very thankful for him.

He was talking to me earlier, something like half an hour ago, actually. I haven't been quiet around the house about the difficult time I'm having dealing with my current circumstances. Sometimes I tend to get a little unnecessary with my sarcastic, anger-laden remarks. Needless to say, they don't do anything to help anyone, least of all myself.

But something he told me makes a lot of sense. Honestly, he's said this before, but I think now more than ever I need to really consider his words. Essentially he told me that the best thing to do at this point is to come to a place of total surrender before God. Pour out my heart, lay it all on the table in front of Him. For me that means that I need to stop living fed up and discontent, finding problems where there don't have to be any. See, I'm no saint, not by a long shot. This is becoming increasingly evident to me as time goes on. Some real changes are a need in my life, and I'm going to have to initiate several of them.

So here's to making it better in 2009. With God it can be done.

Tags: change, surrender

Jan. 3rd, 2009

2009 - First Entry

location: bedroom

mood: calm

This is my first entry of the new year. Let me just say, to start, that 2008 flew by quickly. I still don't think I was awake for all of it. Gee...

Anyway, things with me have been up and down in the general bracket of "better than usual", I guess. Yeah, that sounds complicated. I'll explain like this: lately I've been doing better than usual, I suppose. But even in that "better than usual" slot I'm fluctuating. Some days are "good better than usual days", while other are "not so good better than usual days." I hope that makes sense.

Hmm. With more thought I may even find that's not entirely accurate. Bleh.

But I can't complain. God is good, no matter how I'm feeling at any given time. And if I begin to think otherwise, well then, my thinking's all bent out of shape, isn't it? :)

Tags: 2009, days, mood, new year

Posted at 03:18 pm | Link | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

Dec. 29th, 2008

Change?

location: Bedroom

mood: okay

I'm writing for the sake of writing this time around. I guess I have things to say, or at least, I have things I'm thinking.

Christmas was good. I didn't place very high expectations on the day. Not because of my family or anything, but because of me. I've been having a hard time with some things lately, and life in general has been a drag. I don't mean to sound like I'm complaining, because I'm not. Really, I'm being honest.

I need some change, that much is certain. Actually, I believe substantial change is around a not too far off corner. When and how exactly, well I don't know, but I'm pretty sure it's coming.

Come, change! ^_^

Tags: change

Dec. 21st, 2008

A Man's Measure

location: Bedroom

mood: tired

What makes a man? I think about this sometimes.

Maybe you didn't know, but I'm a terribly self conscious person. More often than not, I tend to measure my worth in physical terms. Consequently, I always come up short. This is to my own disadvantage and I need to work on changing it.

I have no right to make that the standard for who I really am. Tradition says the Apostle Paul wasn't at all a good looking man. Yet if you read his NT books, you'll see this had nothing to do with who he truly was.

No question, I need to adopt a different mindset regarding myself.

A man. A woman. What makes them what they are in the fullest, most meaningful sense? I know one thing, it has everything to do with God.

Tags: man, woman

Posted at 12:56 pm | Link | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

Dec. 17th, 2008

Theme Change

location: Bedroom

mood: good

Still trying to find the absolute right look for my journal.

As opposed to my last theme, is this one better or worse?

Tags: change, theme

What To Title This

location: Living Room

mood: tired

Good crud. I'm tired. Tired, tired, tired. Stayed up quite late last night speaking with a friend online. It was a good conversation, as they always are. One of the earmarks of our late night chats is the commencement of more serious talk just as it's time to head out. It's like we start out on light notes and end on the heavier stuff. It isn't bad, just more somber. And I don't hate it. No, actually it serves to strengthen the friendship between this person and myself. That's a really cool thing. :]

-- Just opened up the front door. It's nice outside. Fresh air is amazing. --

Can you believe it's almost 2009 already? This is crazy stuff. I feel like I just got past the beginning of the year, and wham, here I am 12 months later. Something's wrong......well okay, not really, but at the crazy rate time is moving, it sure does feel that way.

Anyway, I think that's about all I've got. I'm sitting here in the living room with an old movie on, a black and white. I may catch some snooze a bit later. We'll see.

Tags: friend, late, time, tired

Dec. 16th, 2008

Opening Entry

location: Bedroom

mood: mellow

I've decided on taking another crack at the written blog/journal. Truthfully, I never do well with these types of things. I think that has a lot to do with the fact that I don't make a habit of sharing many of my struggles with anyone, save God Himself.

And you know, sharing about oneself seems to be one of the biggest reasons behind keeping a journal.

Maybe I can keep this one alive, eh?

Tags: opening

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Words

by Mike

Jan. 28th, 2009

I Feel...

Jan. 15th, 2009

Barney, My Dog

Jan. 11th, 2009

0_o

Jan. 4th, 2009

Surrender

Jan. 3rd, 2009

2009 - First Entry

Dec. 29th, 2008

Change?

Dec. 21st, 2008

A Man's Measure

Dec. 17th, 2008

Theme Change

What To Title This

Dec. 16th, 2008

Opening Entry

January 2009

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